Danielle Speaks

For Tuck and I

Best moment of the Oscars!

I am so glad

that atleast so many women directors and screenwriters are being nominated and recognized by the Academy. So congradulations to Tamara Jenkins (Columbia Alum!) and Cody Diablo..among the other women are finally being recognized. On the other hand- yet another year went  by where all the best directors were white men! Hmmmph

Well atleast it's the yr of Obama and Hillary!

Los Angeles Contemporary Museum of Art- LACMA

Was LAME!  I tried to be inspired and open- I was trying to have an artist's date with myself (thank you Julia Cameron) But the whole place seemed empty, soul-less. The art just was not that interesting or new to me. Sure they had some old reliables: Miro, Dali, Picasso, Modigliani, Giacometti..etc. But really it was not till I got to the Broad Art Center, for LACMA is a huge campus with many Galleries, that I was even remotely interested in what was going  on. BCAM had a great Basquiat collection among other eighties contemporary artists. Also on the ground floor they had this maze like structure with not fulcrum arches to hold up the giant waves of brown wall swerving about in the large ground floor galleria:

For the reason this picture is right side up on my comp and turned here in typepad- I need the geek squad!

Anyhow.  Lacma is lackluster but I might give it a chance again on another day when its not raining and a great opening is occurring.
 

Chaos and storms.

This post is dedicated to my friend Wendy and her lovely amazing dog named Bacon. Bacon is ill and shall leave us soon. Anyhow- one G-chat with Wendell, as I long to call her is better than most conversations with anyone! Thanks Lady!

Written Earlier today:

Lately I feel like I am trying to walk down a long dark road in a hurricane. I can't see well, stuff is flying in my face and all the elements are hurting me.  I feel stupid walking but I went down this road and it's dangerous and disheartening to turn back.  I can't really be more specific. All i can say is that my health has been truly suspect since I have arrived in LA and it culminated with me in another doctor's office today drawing blood.  My car situation continues... I did not come to LA expecting to write long entries in my blog about hardships regarding legal litany... and foot problems... and sicknesses... and scary doctor visits but it seems that this is all that my days amount to here. Worse, there is no human relief to cushion the blame.  Still when each storm passes I feel OK and not so weathered- peculiar!

As I write, one of my closest friends is getting married in Ecuador, another compromise I made to come here was ditching her wedding and maybe a portion of our friendship.She kept telling me,  "where there is a will there is a way" - but I could not even find my self a job out here to come to- how could I have afforded a South American soujourn, a bride's maid dress and all the other acutrements that go with such a luxery? I can't help thinking that maybe if I had played my cards right in life things would be so different right this minute.   Maybe I would be warmed by the sun in Ecuador enjoying time with friends and resting assured with no psychosomatic induced ailments fraying at my mind.  Writing sad blog entries is completely dissapointing to me.  It's been 6 weeks.  Things take time. I just wish it did not feel like the world was against me. Like there were signs everywhere saying run back. But to what? When the sicknesss heals, the car returns and all the broken things get exchanged, what then can I blame?  This makes me try harder, push harder, distract myself with the promise of something better. I had dinner with an old friend from NYC. She is here and super intelligent- a greater relief than you'll ever know! Anyhow JC had a similar first few months story. It would seem that everyone comes to LA and finds themselves zero'd down. No matter what you had before- all bets are off. This city's Karma is contagiously bad. But in the end you survive.

The other night I met someone who had 4 months to live, maybe... He was dying of cancer. His last goal in life was to finish his MFA in film. The disease had rendered him so weak that he was massively overweight and walked with a cane because he could not exercise and I believe the treatments were steroids which bloated his body. He was a sweet and warm and calm person- unfettered by the awful sh*t that he had been thrown. He had a full life! I kept thinking I was such a brat for feeling sorry for myself. I had accomplished beyond this man's last goal and yet I pitied myself. 

In any case, as I g-chatted a bulletted point review of my month to Wendell I realized that I was also writing down my beat sheet for my short. Yeah it's unoriginal: a struggling fish out of the water coming up against everyday hardship but hey- don't hate on me! I told Wendell I wanted to add a neighbor dying and the search to figure out what to do with her stuff and she replied "you have enough drama in your own life...keep it real!"  WORD Wendell. WORD!

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My car melodrama ensues. I spent 4 hours on the phone with three insurance companies. Pretty soon my car will be fixed and I will not be able to pick it up. This is because they are fighting with eachother over who is responsible for this mess. I've been lied to with promises never meant to be kept by my mistress Toyota and I am stuck in a relationship for the next five yrs...(sigh)  I'm off to the pool.

Meanwhile, everyday I must unsubscirbe from different Brooklyn and Manhatten list serves everyday- and with each gallery, band, museum, activity listserve... I mourn the loss of a rich and full life sans car issues.  I also feel like there are a few folks out here that I would like to unsubscribe from already- UNSUBSCRIBE!!!!

I had my first pang of real homesickness last night- I just really wanted to hop on a plane. Oh well- Tucker will be here soon enough!

Shane's Power's Live on

This is a clip from a friend's daily LA blog. What cracks me up is that Catherine Moennig from the L-word who plays Shane , a womanizing lady killer clearly has the ditzy gal drooling all over her- hilarious!

Facebook told me that"

Virgo Horoscope
Go to: Yesterday | Tomorrow

Danielle,
You have a lucky break in your career coming. A position higher up on the corporate ladder, a better location for your business, or a new job opening has come up and you will be celebrating an important victory soon. Take advantage of a chance to boost your savings.

Astro Outlook Money Love Health

Lucky Numbers 10, 23, 26, 36, 44, 48 Compatible Sign Taurus

More: Chinese | Love | Send Karma

One month

On wed it was one month exactly that I have been here. Its been a real trial and tribulation. And now that the embers of all my little tragedies are dying out I am getting really hungry to be important in this town. Who knew it would only take a month for me to be truly embittered by my nobody status.  It is more who you know in this town than anywhere else in the world. Its a giant High School. I wonder often, and my friends from school have joked about this, if people go into entertainment to make up gain the attention they did not get in H.S. It seems to me that might be the case and L.A. is just the campus for it.  I did not feel any great monumentous emotion upon realizing it was a month. Instead I felt the inkling of a painful sore throat come on.  BTW, I searched online for hours over what  truly is the best pain reliever for sore throats and the winner for sure is this: Hot water, Cayanne Pepper, Lemon Juice and honey ( replace with Agave if y ou are allergic to honey) I could not swallow for two days. My anti biotics and tylenol were not working. I did the salt gargle thing and the boiling pot. No relief. I took one sip of this brilliant tonic and immediately the irritated tissue was numbed and shrunk b y the cayanne and lemon. Soothed by the hot water and honey. I made an entire gallon of it and drank away. Incedentally this is also the formula for that master cleanse juice- just hot instead of cold. You can drink this stuff daily along side your normal diet to simply clarify your insides.
Anyhow. On valentine's Eve I saw an orchestral piece at the Colburn School of music. It was  a very informal setting. The conductor joked with the audience all night. It was a very octogenarian crowd who yelled out loud back at the conductor.  My friend arrived too late to sit with me so I was by myself. When I went to txt her where to sit. A woman who could b e g-d's mother snagged my phone from me and through it (over my body) back into my bag. I don't even think my mom would do that! Then she asked me if I wanted to join her and a bunch of drunk law students...nah.

Then I went to Jerry's in West Hollywood and got the most amazing matzo ball soup. I should have gone out but my throat hurt and frankly I had the blues.

Oh joy!

Tonight i went the Los Angeles out growth of the Naked Angels Theater company's reading series at St Nick's Pub. And I got there without using my boyfriend GPS! If you are a writer you submit your name, your email and two hard copies of 10 pages of a screenplay, novel essay, or play in progress.  The environment is about 90% actors which is taking a little getting use to. Most of the people here are hyphens. Almost everybody dabbles in acting and I am starting to wonder if my abhorrence towards the idea of myself acting is actually perhaps a block in my creative process... In any case after you submit your stuff and it takes about a month on the queue to get read. The actors all arrive about 30 minutes early and if it's your night you quickly cast them. About 4or 5 works are then stage read.  The work was decent- not great which is good because if this is going to be a utility for me I don't think I would feel so inspired if the work was daunting.  I  have this inability to remember that its not gauche or incorrect to write from your own biography. Some of the best stuff was clearly based in very near and dear facts in the writers' lives.  This always angers me because then I think of the yrs my own growth as a writer has been stunted by not purging all this stuff and recycling it into real drama. In any case I only need to get 10 pages out and then I am off. All night my friend kept plainly introducing me as Danielle, a writer. That was my role. I had my glasses on so every one kept saying they knew that I was the minute I walked in.  Thats the other part that is hard to get use to in LA. Everyone openly gives you the up and down and unlike NYC where people treasure their anonymity and hide out in secret haunts- stars sit outside at cafes on Sunset arching their backs, assuring a 100% vista. Strange. In any case, one girl, who was such an actress grabbed my hand and nearly shook it off and then said that she thought I was Laraine Newman when I walked in: a woman 23 yrs older than I with Kinky curly hair and a zany nose. 

At my horror she replied: "oh she is very talented- so uhm when you submit your script can you make sure there is a part for me to read" Yeah sure, I'll write one just for you!

Three other people told me I looked like Feist!!! I have been getting this a lot!  This  makes me giddy.

She is so French- J'aime la!