"Today's hardship leads to tomorrow's rewards" This is what the fortune says that is attached to the inside of my wallet in front of my browning NYC license. The fortune cookie's arrival in itself was anomalous as it came at the end of a cheap Thai meal. The Neon lights were so bright inside that my greasy pad see yu had a sort of blue hue to it.. It was midnight and I was still at work (three days into a new job) We decided to take a break and "go out for dinner" I hardly knew this person and here I was 15 hours later. I was in the middle of Van Nuys, porn capital of California and easily a dead ringer for any run down third world capital city. I had been in these situations before, new crazy job, ladder climbing possibilities inhumane film industry hours and a strange eruptive intimacy with strangers from cramped and long hours. Yet this seemed different, I was actually taking knowledge in. I am learning. John, one of two Johns who make a couple who showed me an apartment in December called me 7 months later and hired me to take over for him while he was away on vacation. While trying to implement a new system and dealing with innumerable foibles I learned how to be an assistant editor on a feature film. It seems so late in the game, I know, but here it was, stuff I had never learned before. I had never been in the post department of a feature fiction film and now here I was about to BE the entire post department after a mere three days training. And I did it, with a few private meltdowns but i managed to run all of the post ( which I have learned it what the assistant does so that the creative artist=editor can just do his thing) It was a 3 to 4 camera HD 3 week shoot. Every day at least 15 tapes of footage arrived with seperate sound and volumes of errors made on the field which made my life challenging every day. But again I learned. And because I was the only one watching all the footage, people would ask my opinion about the film. This was rare opportunity to build relationships with hire up people in a position that on a huge budget film would be a less personable and more robot. And so that hardship is leading to reward.
I see that fortune every time I open my wallet, even more, it strikes me as I pay for the emblems of my move: gas, parking, valet...etc. If strikes me. If my hope had a song this fortune would be the bridge and sometimes I have to search really hard to find the tune like when new people flee as quickly as they came in to my life and sometimes its singing loudly in my ear like when new people stick around and hold me up with an iron arm. My task was a simple one. Grow up and write. I came here, and every thing fell apart and I stopped writing. Even writing this simple blog entry seems hard- so weighted with the challenge of re-entering a dream I had so long ago. But I am proud to report that I shall be coming upon my 9th month in LA and my 33rd year in life and I have survived.
I live in LA. I don't even say I just moved here. I live here. I work here. I have a title, I am assistant editor and a writer. I have treatments due to producers who have heard pitches and have commended me for a job well done. Every one has two faces in this town but I am beginning to recognize the ones I like. I don't earn much but I am on my way and now that I have someone waiting on a treatment and a meeting with them upon a return from my visit home I feel as if I am on my way. I was receding a little deeply into the bell jar when I think some form of human resistance called out from inward and made a little fortune appear. And so a new job came with a path to keep on. A new apartment came and a friend in need appeared at my door all at once and together: me, jo and my new place healed.
So thats my update for now. This is for Elbee- who just pushed me to keep on my blog. Actually this is for Elbee, TV, Humdrum and Tuck- the only 4 people who are probably reading this so its cool.
I am home for a wedding that will have some of Williamsburg's greatest hits for me there. I am excited to see so many people I have loved for so long in a place i hold dear this weekend. Its good to be with my folks too. Their pride and love is unconditional and sometimes that can feel heavy when I am not feeling worthy of such a gift but I am learning not to think so much. In the immortal words of Po the Kung Fu Panda's noodle shop dad: " there is no secret ingredient, the soup tastes special because I believe its special"
ON a side note, I watched the second Narnia film on the plane today. If you read the CS Lewis books when you were little you will so enjoy this second one. It's entirely less wrought with biblical imagery and hidden messages and the Prince Caspian story is a great one. Plus the mythical human enemies of the Narnians are called Telmarines but they are really all just Spaniards and they are HOT!!!!!!! I really enjoyed this. The story feels a little bit too much like the Lord of the Rings trilogy here and there but since i am not sure who came first Lewis or Tolkian I can't really comment on that. But again- see the film- it will remind you of the third grade happily. And then go read a Beverly Cleary book.
-signed
awake again
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