A friend of a friend received one of those joke emails that had a slant towards GOP ideals and she responded with her own prose to retort. I am posting this not only because I think they are both clever ( though I hate to admit) but this little fairy tale really illustrates for me how rationally and strongly the fiscally and morally conservative can be at purporting their agendas. Or maybe a more fair way of putting it is this: I am like all of my friends the angry left. To be honest- most of the people in my world are liberal and believe in a government that helps people and takes initiative to draw attention to societal flaws like racism and sexism and then make public policy that corrects these humanity errors. I care about my wallet- but I believe that the left is more honest and realistic about how to improve my wallet while aiding and abetting general public well being. Maybe I am as ignorant as the archetype of the redneck who I am always poised against on the political spectrum. It was never a question for me as to whether or not I was blue or red, it was merely for me a decision between the feminist movement and the grass roots movement both ebbing towards a world I want to live in. I tend to vilify Republicans even though there are people whom I love who are card carrying GOP members. I make sure their social beliefs stay in line with mine (Pro-Choice, Pro Immigration aid, Pro ERA...) and forgive them for their naivety in believing that today's GOP is the same as the days of Roosevelt and Cold War Scares. But the truth is the middle of this country believes that the world they live is a place where one has to be careful not to be taken advantage of and where they still think you can be anything you want to be despite misfortune. They are deeply afraid of poor children taking money away from their taxes because they believe the parents of those children are just lazy and inept. They oppose Darwin but their attitude towards life is completely Darwinian. The monetarily weak shall not inherit the earth. The oilers will. The people who want to make government smaller want to in turn place their morals via the government on my life. They want prayer in school, abortion illegal (even in the case of Rape) , gay marriage illegal, non US citizens evicted and they want to carry on some imperialist manifest destiny code that makes the rest of the globe hate us. We are a country based on reformation and change but we also come from Puritans ( well not me and 90% of who I know because we are the children of foreigners- and those foreigners built the bridges and the skyscrapers and the trains but now that those foreigners are not white they are not allowed to participate in the melting pot) I am angry. Mostly because I am not sure what to do to change ignorance. Its not a matter of opinion, its an ethical debate. But in this little Aesop fable comes the world view of a America and it reminds me of the micro in my microcosm.
In any case- here came this email- that I assume was meant for the right wing voters and my friend's friend replied quite cleverly: (remember- the first part IS NOT MY SENTIMENT- the reply IS!)
THE INITIAL EMAIL: THE LITTLE RED HEN REVISITED:
The
little red hen called all of her Democrat neighbors together and said, 'If we
plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?'
'Not I,' said the cow.
'Not I,' said the duck.
'Not I,' said the pig.
'Not I,' said the goose.
'Then I will do it by myself,' said the little
red hen, and so she did. The wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden
grain.
'Who will help me reap my wheat?' asked the
little red hen.
'Not I,' said the duck...
'Out of my classification,' said the pig.
'I'd lose my seniority,' said the cow.
'I'd lose my unemployment compensation,' said
the goose.
'Then I will do it by myself,' said the little
red hen, and so she did.
At last it came time to bake the bread.
'Who will help me bake the bread?' asked the
little red hen.
'That would be overtime for me,' said the cow.
'I'd lose my welfare benefits,' said the duck.
'I'm a dropout and never learned how,' said
the pig.
'If I'm to be the only helper, that's
discrimination,' said the goose.
'Then I will do it by myself,' said the little
red hen.
She baked five loaves and held them up for all
of her neighbors to see. They wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share.
But the little red hen said, 'No, I shall eat all five loaves.'
'Excess profits!' cried the cow. (Nancy
Pelosi)
'Capitalist leech!' screamed the duck.
(Barbara Boxer)
'I demand equal rights!' yelled the goose.
(Jesse Jackson)
The pig just grunted in disdain. (Ted Kennedy)
And they all painted 'Unfair!' picket signs
and marched around and around the little red hen, shouting obscenities.
Then the farmer (Obama) came. He said to the
little red hen, 'You must not be so greedy.'
'But I earned the bread,' said the little red
hen.
'Exactly,' said Barack the farmer. 'That
is what makes our free enterprise system so wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard
can earn as much as he wants. But under our modern government regulations, the
productive workers must divide the fruits of their labor with those who are
lazy and idle.'
And they all lived happily ever after,
including the little red hen, who smiled and clucked, 'I am grateful, for now I
truly understand.'
But her neighbors became quite disappointed in
her. She never again baked bread because she joined the 'party' and got her
bread free. And all the Democrats smiled. 'Fairness' had been established.
Individual initiative had died, but nobody
noticed; perhaps no one cared...so long as there was free bread that 'the rich'
were paying for.
EPILOGUE
Bill Clinton is getting $12 million for his
memoirs.
Hillary got $8 million for hers.
That's $20 million for the memories from two
people, who for eight years, repeatedly testified, under oath, that they
couldn't remember anything.
IS THIS A GREAT BARNYARD OR WHAT?
AMY'S RESPONSE:
There once was a barnyard where the Little
Red Hen said, I don't like what they are doing on Old McDonalds farm so
I'm going to proactively invade. Despite the protests of a majority
of the barnyard, the Little Red Hen rounded up the other hens
and with nary a plan in place, stormed Old McDonald's farm destroying
barns, silos, and crops while killing or displacing many animals. Despite
the destruction and chaos, Old McDonald's animals wouldn't just
give up the farm without a fight so a long, seemingly endless war ensued.
This entanglement tied up money and resources from Red Hen's community.
While Little Red Hen refused to
acknowledge the repercussions of this battle, she was willing to relax
regulations and oversight on the rich farmer who controlled food, housing and
utilities for all the animals. The farmer refused to acknowledge his
rather shady and potentials destructive business model because he was getting
richer and fatter each day. When markets changed and audits questioned
the farmer's books, all hell broke loose. The animals were kicked
off the farm; they were barnless, had lost their livelihood, and lacked
provisions.
So the cow brought her calf to school and
told the teacher: "Can you provide lunch for my child because I
can't afford to feed her on the minimum wage job I was forced to take."
And the pigs went to a shelter and asked
"Can we sleep here tonight because our sty was reposed and we have no
where to go."
And the duck went to the hospital and
asked the doctor "Can you treat me because I am sick but lost my job so
have no insurance."
And these animals were told that because
of the deficit caused by the ongoing war with Old McDonald and the credit
crisis caused by the farmer, that funding had been cut and they would have to
go without.
And honest, hard working farmers turned a
blind eye to these problems because life on their farm was hard and they
didn't have anything to spare. And the fat, rich farmer
wouldn't share any of his ill-begotten gains because he thought of the
animals as weak and stupid. And the farmer; the Little Red Hen; the old, Arizona
Cock; and the smirking, Alaska Bulldog all laughed and
taunted and told retched lies about anyone who asked if this was right.
And the farmer went to his island in the Caribbean to hide all
his profits in off-shore banking accounts and the Little Red Hen retired to her
ranch in Texas and the rest of the animals suffered
because no one felt it was their responsibility to help out.
Moral-There's more than one side to
this story.
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