So I was fired about two weeks ago. It was most definitely not a shock. It was the most mutual of break ups one could ever experience. My manager started to tear as it was time for him to tell me and I saved him from speaking the words. I told him that I knew what was coming and that it was great news, that it was time this bad saga ended and that I was excited to do something with my life where I was respected, appreciated and in an environment conducive to what I do well.
What I do well. Thats the big question. Its now been a week since I have been home. On top of the regular discontentment of the event- i ended up having a terrible cough and cold. Every day my body would expel noxious poison. I envisioned my first week "off" as a celebration of the daytime: 10am yoga, tea and healthy breakfast in my sparklingly clean apartment, followed by several hours of brilliant writing sired by the peace of mind I finally must have obtained by being freed of the viacom shackles that were binding my soul. Then of course a bundled up afternoon walk where in a Mary Tyler Moore frenzy I would throw my hat up in the air and pound my chest as I chanted FREE AT LAST, GOOD G-D ALMIGHTY, FREE AT LAST.
Thats not exactly how it was. I'll spare you the boring details, key word: "boring." There is all this residual emotion creeping out from underneath the surface and its not quite depressing or heavy, I am fine but this stuff begs my attention and I am frustrated because I don't have the answers. I feel as if I am back at square one. I thought by age 31 I would not have to ask my self what I wanted to be when I grow up. But the question still stands and bills need to be paid, the batons of security: savings, pensions, health insurance, all cry for my attention and my brain most of all needs a plan. I will just admit that aside from a few money making ideas I have none.
Here is what I do know. I don't want to work in an office. I don't want to climb the ranks. I don't want to do any job where the most important trait to survive is organization- I am not management freak. I don't want to really be anyone else's boss. I want to work for myself. I want to work on something, I want to watch it grow, change, get better or move on. To some degree I realize that I will have to deal with some or all of these elements but if I consciously chose not to, perhaps I can evade some of them. Thats all for now. Happy Friday people- I think this might be a sunny weekend!


Last Monday Seattle resident Jason Fortuny [Ed. Note: pictured at left] (and a friend) carried out a thought experiment into reality -- one I think anyone who has surfed Craigslist sex ads has entertained. He took a hardcore Women Seeking Men ad from another city and reposted it to see how many replies he could get in 24 hours (the ad's photo at right). Then he

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